Gestational diabetes test #2

Well, I went for round two today. As you might imagine I was in an especially chipper mood since I’d not eaten for 12+ hours and I was most unenthused about the prospect of being stuck with the needle three times.

Let me just tell you this: it was not a mere THREE times; it was SIX! Count ‘em, six times.

We signed into the lab according to instructions and sat down.

--Elizabeth! barked the lab attendant/phlebotomist, who had all the charm of Rosario on Will & Grace. She even looked like her.

I walked sheepishly to the “blood drawing cubby”, gave her my paperwork and sat down.

--Oh, you’re here for the three hour test. Are you fasting?? she grills me with a tone of disbelief, like I may have forgotten this little detail.

I confirmed.

--Well, you’re gonna be here for awhile. This takes longer than three hours, you know.

This was news to me. And news that I was not pleased to hear. She starts snapping on the blue vinyl gloves.

--Um… can you please walk me through this procedure, please? I’m confused. I thought it was only (only, ha!) three hours, and actually I’m not that good with surprises.

She tells me that that first she’ll “use the stick” on me to get an initial sugar reading. I HATE that thing! Then, she’ll take a vial of blood for a baseline. Next, I’ll drink this vile sugar drink, then she’ll test me at 30 min, 60 min., 120 min., and 180 minutes. She warns me that I may feel sick after taking the drink, but "don't vomit or you'll ruin the test and we'll have to do it over again."

At that very moment, I seriously considered getting the hell out of there. Unfortunately, I’d have to answer to my doctor’s office. And.. there’s that niggly little feeling of irresponsibility. I gritted my teeth and braced myself.

--What arm do you want to start with? Ooooo, you’re gonna be bruuui-sed after this is all done.

What the hell? I mean, can you try to make it a little more palatable??

The hardest part was going back into the same vein the second time. We ended up doing twice in each arm, and then my hand out of desperation.

And after all that, I still don’t know the results. I asked the doctor’s office this afternoon. They said I’d know on Monday, or Tuesday at the latest.

And so we wait… and just hope that was the worst of it, and that I’ll get the all clear sign. Cross your fingers.